By the second week of January, something predictable happens: A lot of New Year Resolutions start fading. The gym is less crowded. The salad bar line is shorter. And even those “let’s find a time to talk” texts with old friends stop being sent—and received.

That’s why the second Friday in January is often called Quitter’s Day.

The term was coined by the fitness tracking company Strava, which analyzed data from millions of users and found that by the second Friday in January, 80% of people have already abandoned their New Year’s resolutions.

Why do so many people quit so quickly?

One reason is that most resolutions aren’t really about the goal itself. People aren’t just trying to exercise more or eat better—they’re trying to feel happier.

And that’s where things start to break down.

For many people, “being happy” is something that lives in the future: I’ll feel happier…when I lose the weight, when I get the routine right, when life calms down.

But real life doesn’t slow down in January. Stress shows up. Work gets demanding. Conflicts escalate. And when happiness is the goal, normal negative emotions—frustration, doubt, fatigue—can start to feel like failure.

That’s why the modern pursuit of happiness has become a problem.

The harder we try to feel happy, the more pressure we create—through unrealistic expectations, constant comparison, and the belief that something is wrong whenever life feels hard. 

Striving to “be happy” can feel like trying to hold water in our hands. The tighter we grip, the faster it slips away.

For too many people, this version of happiness creates unhealthy stress and anxiety. And the data reflects the struggle. Globally, more than one billion people live with mental health disorders. In the U.S., over one in five adults—sixty million people—experience mental illness each year, with rates even higher among our youth.

Too many of our co-workers, customers, family members, and friends are struggling—not because they’re failing at life, but because they’re pursuing the modern-day version of happiness.

What “Happiness” Meant in 1776

When America’s Founders wrote about the pursuit of happiness, they weren’t talking about chasing pleasure, comfort, or constant positive feelings.

They were pointing to something deeper—what philosophers call flourishing.

Back then, happiness meant living well, not just feeling good. It was tied to:

• Character over comfort. Happiness was connected to Arete, an ancient Greek word meaning excellence—becoming the best version of yourself by cultivating virtues and fulfilling your purpose.

• Self-governance. Not “do whatever you want,” but “learn to lead yourself.” Manage emotions. Resist impulses. Choose what’s right over what’s easy.

• A life that contributes. Happiness wasn’t only personal—it was relational and communal. A healthy society makes it easier for individuals, teams, and families to thrive.

• A lifelong practice. Not a destination you arrive at, but a path you walk daily, one decision, one habit, one challenging choice at a time.

That version of happiness is far more durable. It doesn’t disappear when life gets hard. In fact, it grows stronger because life gets hard.

Flourishing—One Day at a Time

If this kind of life feels appealing, I invite you to use Quitter’s Day differently this year.

Decide to quit pursuing the modern version of happiness—and return to the original one.

For over 2,300 years, philosophers have said a good life turns on four core qualities—often called the four cardinal virtues: wisdom, justice, temperance, and courage.

They’re called cardinal virtues because the word comes from the Latin cardo, meaning hinge. The idea is simple: a good life hinges on these four strengths. When they’re strong, everything else works better. When they’re missing, things start to break down.

These virtues weren’t abstract philosophy. They were meant to be lived—in daily decisions, relationships, and leadership.

They still matter because they solve problems that never go away:

• Courage gives us the strength to do the right thing when it’s hard.

• Temperance (Discipline) keeps impulses and emotions from running our lives.

• Justice teaches us how to treat people fairly and build trust.

• Wisdom helps us choose thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.

Together, they redefine happiness:

• From chasing feelings → to living well

• From having more → to becoming better

• From controlling outcomes → to controlling ourselves

That’s the pursuit of happiness as it was meant to, especially in turbulent times.

Over the next four weeks, I’ll talk about each of the four cardinal virtues—one at a time—as a practical, livable path to flourishing.

Courage Comes First

Next week I’ll explore how practicing everyday courage becomes the foundation for a happier, more meaningful life. Not dramatic, headline-making courage—but everyday courage: speaking honestly, having difficult conversations, setting boundaries, and doing what you know is right even when it’s uncomfortable.

Hopefully this year, Quitter’s Day is the time more leaders in the workplace, family, and community quit pursuing what hasn’t worked—and begin the daily practice of flourishing.

Let's Get Better Together,

Bill Durkin, Founder

One Positive Place

https://www.opp-usa.com