Five years ago, when COVID shut the world down, I stepped away from teaching, coaching, and writing the weekly Positive Leadership Articles I used to send to you. The break was healthy and needed — but it’s time to go back to work.

The Crisis Civility

America is at its best when we work together. But when conflict arises, too many people default to silence or violence — they either fight and escalate the tension or flee and avoid the conversation altogether. And when people flee, the conflict doesn’t disappear; it simply goes underground, spreading quietly through workplaces, families, and communities. It drains energy, erodes trust, and weakens performance.

As a result, civility is declining sharply — and people are hurting mentally and physically because of it.

The latest research from SHRM paints a sobering picture:

• 72% of employees say civility in the workplace has declined in the last five years.

• 57% experience disrespect or incivility at least once a week.

• 71% say their managers are not doing enough to address the problem.

• Workplace conflict now costs U.S. organizations over $359 billion a year in lost time, productivity, and turnover.

• And according to Gallup, only 1 in 4 employees feels their organization genuinely cares about their wellbeing.

In a world where negativity, stress, and division are rising, increasing civility is not optional — it’s a core leadership responsibility.

The solution to this civility crisis begins within our own circle of influence — our workplace, our family, our community.

We can’t change the world today, but we can improve the conversations we have with our co-workers, customers, family, and friends.

Yet too often, leaders are expected to manage incivility without being taught how to bring out the best in someone who is upset or emotional.

Many CEOs acknowledge there’s an incivility crisis “out there,” yet assume it isn’t happening inside their own organization simply because they don’t personally witness it. But the most uncivil conversations rarely happen in the executive office. They occur one or two levels down — when senior leaders are not in the room — where relationships strain, truth gets buried, and people become disengaged.

Real change begins when leaders take responsibility for the conversations happening around them — especially the ones they never attend.

Why Positivity Matters

Our brains perform at their best when, they’re positive.

As Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, reminds us:

People in a positive mood think more clearly, create more possibilities, and perform at higher levels.

Positivity doesn’t ignore problems. It creates an emotional climate where solutions, creativity, and collaboration can grow.

What Is a Positive Conversation?

A positive conversation is any interaction that helps someone feel:

Joy • Gratitude • Hope • Pride • Inspiration • Serenity • Interest • Amusement • Awe • Love

Positive conversations:

• Restore civility

• Repair relationships

• Make conflict easier to resolve

• Reduce anxiety and strengthen connection

• Transform frustration into curiosity and disagreement into understanding

They don’t just make moments better — they make relationships better.

Working and Living Better Together

Every time we speak with kindness, curiosity, and hope, we help restore civility. When we repair a strained relationship instead of fighting or fleeing, we rebuild trust. And when we resolve conflict the positive way, we show others what courage and compassion look like in action. These are not soft skills. They are the skills that hold teams, families, and communities together — especially in a divided world that desperately needs them.

As Abraham Lincoln urged leaders during the Civil War, “The Union depends on the better angels of our nature.” Today, our workplaces, families, and communities depend on the better angels of our leaders too.

I’m excited to reconnect with you and to begin sharing positive actions you can use at work, at home, and in your neighborhood. My goal is simple: to help you bring out the best in everyone around you… one positive conversation at a time.

Let's Get Better Together,

Bill Durkin, Founder

One Positive Place

https://www.opp-usa.com

“Civility isn’t about being polite; it’s about bringing out the best in everyone, even when you disagree.”- Bill Durkin