Updated: Sep 4
In March of 2020, when COVID shut the world down, I stepped away from teaching, coaching, and writing the weekly Positive Leadership Articles I had been sending for many years.
I enjoyed my retirement. But after six years away, I'm going back to work.
A lot has changed during those six years. We seem to have become more divided, more stressed, and less willing or perhaps less able, to talk through our differences. There is just too much unhealthy conflict in our workplaces, families, and communities. I want to do my part to help change that.
I certainly don't believe we can eliminate disagreement. Nor should we. Different opinions, ideas, experiences, and perspectives can help us make better decisions and find better solutions.
The problem isn't disagreement. The problem is what happens when we don't handle it well.
Too often, we avoid a difficult conversation until a small problem becomes a bigger one. Or we allow pressure and emotions to turn a disagreement into an unhealthy conflict that damages trust, relationships, and results.
That's why the focus of my work today is helping people get better at having Positive Conversations when emotions rise, opinions differ, and relationships are at risk.
We can’t change the world today, but we can improve the conversations we have with our co-workers, customers, family, and friends.
Yet too often, leaders are expected to reduce unhealthy conflict without being taught how to bring out the best in someone who is upset or emotional.
Many CEOs acknowledge there’s an incivility crisis “out there,” yet assume it isn’t happening inside their own organization simply because they don’t personally witness it. But the most uncivil conversations rarely happen in the executive office. They occur one or two levels down, when senior leaders are not in the room, where relationships strain, truth gets buried, and people become disengaged.
Why Positive Conversations Matter
Our brains perform at their best when, they’re positive.
As Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, reminds us:
People in a positive mood think more clearly, create more possibilities, and perform at higher levels.
Positivity doesn’t ignore problems. It creates an emotional climate where solutions, creativity, and collaboration can grow.
What Is a Positive Conversation?
A positive conversation is any interaction that helps someone feel:
Joy • Gratitude • Hope • Pride • Inspiration • Serenity • Interest • Amusement • Awe • Love
Positive conversations:
Restore civility
Repair relationships
Make conflict easier to resolve
Reduce anxiety and strengthen connection
Transform frustration into curiosity and disagreement into understanding
They don’t just reduce unhealthy conflict...they improve relationships, results, and resilience.
Working and Living Better Together
Every time we speak with kindness, curiosity, and hope, we help restore civility. When we repair a strained relationship instead of fighting or fleeing, we rebuild trust. And when we resolve conflict the positive way, we show others what courage and compassion look like in action. These are not soft skills. They are the skills that hold teams, families, and communities together, especially in a divided world that desperately needs reconciliation.
As Abraham Lincoln urged leaders during the Civil War, “The Union depends on the better angels of our nature.” Today, our workplaces, families, and communities depend on the better angels of our leaders too.
I’m excited to reconnect with you and to begin sharing positive ideas you can use at work, at home, and in your neighborhood. My goal is simple: to help you have more positive conversations that bring out the best in everyone around you…even when you disagree.
Let's Get Better Together,
Bill Durkin, Founder
One Positive Place
“Positive Conversations Under Pressure can bringing out the best in everyone, even when you disagree.”- Bill Durkin
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