Over the past few weeks, we’ve been exploring simple ideas that can help us reduce unhealthy conflict in our workplaces, families, and communities.
Here’s one more: Slow down today.
There are times when we need to move quickly. Emergencies, deadlines, unexpected problems, and crises sometimes require us to act fast. But if we honestly look at our day, how much of our hurry is essential?
We change lanes trying to get somewhere a few minutes faster. We check our phones while waiting in line. We rush through meals, meetings, and conversations with the people we lead and love.
Often, we aren't rushing because we must. We're hurrying because hurry has become a habit.
HURRY SICKNESS
In a 2025 Harvard Business Review article, “The Insidious Effects of Hurrying,” Kandi Wiens writes about “hurry sickness” …a persistent sense of time urgency that can leave us feeling as though we always need to be doing more and moving faster.
It can show up as impatience with delays, constantly watching the clock, rushing from one activity to another, multitasking, and feeling uncomfortable when we aren't accomplishing something.
Chronic hurry has a negative impact on our productivity, our relationships, our health, and the health of the people around us. And not everything that feels urgent really is.
HURRY CHANGES HOW WE RESPOND DURING CONVERSATIONS
We can't operate at 95 miles per hour all day and expect to instantly become calm, patient, and attentive the moment we enter a difficult conversation.
When we're rushing, running late, or trying to do too many things at once, our stress level can already be elevated before a challenging conversation even begins. Then someone disagrees with us, criticizes us, disappoints us, or says something that pushes one of our buttons.
Our brain may interpret that additional pressure as a threat, activating the body's fight-or-flight stress response. And when that happens, we're more likely to overreact instead of responding in a positive way. We interrupt. We stop listening. We become defensive. We raise our voice. We say something we may regret later. Or we shut down and try to escape the conversation altogether. A small disagreement can suddenly feel like a much bigger argument.
SLOWING DOWN GIVES US CHOICES
Slowing down gives us time to notice what's happening inside us before it comes out in the conversation. Slowing down can give us the time to choose a better response. We can take a breath. Lower our voice instead of raising it. Let the other person finish. Ask another question instead of assuming. Really listen to their response rather than trying to prove we’re right.
But here's the challenge: we may not even recognize those choices when we're operating on automatic pilot. If hurry has become our normal way of moving through the day, then rushing can become our normal way of interacting with people, too.
That's why practicing when we don’t need to hurry is so important. Every time we notice ourselves feeling the need but intentionally slow down, we're practicing a skill we can use later. We're learning to control our urge to react, pause for a moment, and choose a better response.
Sometimes a few seconds is all we need to turn a potential conflict into a positive conversation.
If you think this habit might be helpful, experiment with slowing down today.
You may discover that less hurry leads to greater productivity, less stress, and better relationships in your workplace, family, and community.
And if you like the experience, try slowing down again tomorrow.
Let's Get Better. Together.
Bill Durkin, Founder
One Positive Place
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