- Aug 14
- 3 min read
The topics we share influence our emotions, shape our beliefs, strengthen or weaken our relationships, and gradually become the culture in our workplaces, families, and communities.
Conversations Become Habits
Researchers who study everyday conversations have found that most conversations revolve around topics that dominate our daily lives, including work, family, friends, health, relationships, food, money, and personal goals. Those conversations become our default settings.
Unfortunately, our brains are programmed to focus on what’s not working in those areas.
The Progress Paradox
More than twenty years ago I read a fascinating book by Gregg Easterbrook called The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse.
He asked an important question: Why do so many people believe everything is getting worse when so many aspects of life have improved?
His research found most people naturally pay more attention to problems, threats, mistakes, disappointments, and conflict than to progress, gratitude, success, and positive experiences.
Negative information captures our attention more quickly, stays in our memory longer, and is more likely to be shared with others.
The problem isn't that we should never talk about these topics. Life requires us to deal with loss, solve problems, and address challenges. The problem is that too many people spend too much time discussing what’s wrong and not enough time talking about what’s right.
We Are All Broadcasters
Michelle Gielan, author of Broadcasting Happiness, takes this idea one step further.
As a CBS News anchor, Gielan became frustrated with the constant focus on negative news. So, she started a series that highlighted stories of hope, resilience, and positive action. The response from viewers was overwhelming. People weren't looking for someone to ignore reality. They were looking for stories that reminded them that positive change was still possible.
The message from her book is simple: We are all broadcasters. Parents broadcast to their children. Leaders broadcast to their teams. Teachers broadcast to their students. Friends broadcast to one another. The messages we choose to share influence how other people think, feel, and respond to life's challenges.
That idea should inspire all of us to ask ourselves.... What are we broadcasting every day? Are we sharing stories that highlight more progress or problems? Gratitude or complaints? Hope or despair? Love or fear?
10 Topics to Talk More About
One of the simplest ways to create positive changes is to intentionally introduce better topics into our daily conversations.
Here are ten ideas worth sharing.
GRATITUDE — What are you grateful for today? Who deserves a thank-you?
PROGRESS — What's getting better? What progress have you or someone else made?
STRENGTHS — What is someone doing particularly well? What strength have you noticed in them?
LEARNING — What have you learned recently? What mistakes, experience, book, conversation, or challenges taught you something valuable?
GOALS — What are you working toward? What's important to you right now?
POSSIBILITIES — What can we do? What opportunity might we be overlooking? What would make tomorrow better?
KINDNESS — Who helped you recently? What act of generosity, compassion, or thoughtfulness have you noticed?
RELATIONSHIPS — Who matters to you? Who could use some encouragement, appreciation, or support today?
POSITIVE STORIES — Who has done something worth talking about? What stories of courage, perseverance, service, teamwork, or excellence could you share?
LOOKING FORWARD — What are you excited about? What are you looking forward to today, this week, or this year?
What Are You Talking About?
Our workplaces, families, and communities don't need more conversations focused on what's wrong. They need more stories that encourage, energize, and inspire.
What positive topics will you talk about in your next conversation?
Let's Get Better. Together.
Bill Durkin, Founder
One Positive Place
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