- May 15
- 3 min read
The Gift Moms Really Want
In 1914, just six years after Anna Jarvis began her campaign, President Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation establishing the second Sunday in May as a national holiday to honor mothers. The idea quickly spread across the country.
What started as a simple, heartfelt day of appreciation eventually grew into a multi-billion-dollar industry. And while the generosity is appreciated, and certainly deserved, the founder of Mother’s Day wanted something quite different.
Anna Jarvis spent much of her life encouraging people to spend less money and more meaningful time with their mother…or someone who had been like a mother to them. She even discouraged the use of commercial greeting cards.
“Any mother would rather have a line of the worst scribble from her son or daughter than any fancy greeting card.” Anna Jarvis
What most mothers want isn’t something we can buy. They want to feel valued. They want to feel appreciated. They want to hear they made a difference.
Mother’s Day Can Be Complicated
Mother’s Day is not easy for everyone. For some, their mother has passed away. For others, the relationship is strained, distant, or broken.
Mother’s Day can also be painful for many mothers themselves. Some mothers won’t receive a phone call from their kids. Some won’t get a visit. Some will spend the day quietly hoping someone reaches out.
Research on family estrangement suggests that many older mothers experience painful distance or disconnection from at least one adult child. One study found that approximately 1 in 10 older mothers reported estrangement from an adult child.
And even in families that are not estranged, adult children and their moms often no longer live near each other. That distance can lead to real loneliness, especially on holidays.
This year, I encourage you to think about all the moms you know and give them the gift of a positive conversation.
Here are a few questions you might ask. And when they answer…Don’t rush to the next question. Stay curious. Ask follow-up questions. That’s where conversations become meaningful and experiences become memorable.
Pick a couple to begin:
What are some of your happiest memories as a mother?
What are you most proud of in your life?
What did you enjoy most about being a parent?
What mom influenced you the most growing up?
What advice would you give a new mother?
What were some of your favorite family traditions?
What brings you the most joy these days?
What are some moments in life you’ll never forget?
What do you hope your kids remember most about you?
What’s something you didn’t have time to do while raising your kids that you’d love to do now?
One More Gift They’ll Appreciate
There’s another wonderful way to make this day more meaningful for the moms in your life.
Ask for their advice.
A mother’s advice comes from a lifelong desire to see the people they love flourish. When you ask for their guidance, you’re not just looking for an answer…you’re honoring their experience, their perspective, and their role in your life.
To make this gift even more meaningful, take one of their ideas and put it into action over the next 7 days. Then call them back and tell them what you did.
These simple acts do something powerful: They help more moms feel remembered, valued, and loved. And in the end, that’s what Mother’s Day was always meant to be.
Let's Get Better Together,
Bill Durkin, Founder
One Positive Place
