- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Helping Other People Excel
The ancient Stoics had a powerful word for excellence: Arete.
Arete meant living with excellence of character and striving to fulfill one's highest potential. It was not reserved for athletes, philosophers, or high achievers. It applied to everyone. The goal was not perfection but rather continual growth.
More than two thousand years later, author Brad Stulberg explores a similar idea in his new book The Way of Excellence: A Guide to True Greatness and Deep Satisfaction in a Chaotic World. You can learn more about this book and his work at bradstulberg.com
He argues that human beings are wired for growth, mastery, and purposeful effort. Deep down, people want to improve. They want to contribute to a worthy cause. They want to feel confident and competent.
The pursuit of excellence is not just about achievement. It is about developing our unique gifts in service of something larger than ourselves. There is a unique joy in becoming the person we were created to be and using our gifts to make a positive difference in the lives of others.
The movie Chariots of Fire captures this idea beautifully through Olympic runner Eric Liddell, who said:
"I believe God made me for a purpose, but He also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure."
Whether viewed through a spiritual lens or simply as a reflection of the human need to grow and contribute, the quote reminds us there is something deeply satisfying when we know we are maximizing our potential.
But there is another important truth about excellence:
We cannot fully excel on our own.
Striving for excellence is rarely a solo pursuit. Behind nearly every person who excels is someone who believed in them, encouraged their growth, and challenged them to become better today than they were yesterday
If we want stronger teams, healthier families, and more vibrant communities, we must become better at helping others pursue excellence.
Here are three positive actions we can take to help the people around us excel.
1. Believe People Can Grow
People are far more likely to improve when they have someone around them that believes improvement is possible.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is labeling people as a low performer, difficult employee, or problem child. Once people are labeled, we start gathering evidence to support our opinion. We stop looking for what is right with that person and start focusing on what is wrong with them.
It’s important for us to look beyond current performance and ask a different question:
"Who can this person become?"
Instead of focusing solely on results, we can notice progress. We can recognize improvement. We can offer encouragement while maintaining high expectations. People often rise or fall to the level of expectations that others have for them.
When we believe that growth is possible, that belief becomes contagious. People begin to see themselves differently. They become more willing to learn, stretch, and take on new challenges.
The first step in helping people excel is helping them believe they can grow.
2. Help People Discover Their Strengths
Many people never fully recognize or value their gifts.
It’s also important for us to help people identify and develop what they do best. Research in positive psychology consistently shows that individuals are more engaged, confident, and productive when they use their strengths regularly.
Two excellent tools for helping people discover their strengths are the Clifton Strengths Assessment and the free VIA Survey of Character Strengths. Both help people identify their natural talents, character strengths, and find meaningful ways to use them in their personal and professional lives.
Unfortunately, many workplaces and families spend more time focusing on weaknesses than strengths. While improving weaknesses is important, developing strengths is what helps teams thrive and families flourish.
3. Challenge People to Stretch
Growth requires discomfort. No one develops excellence by staying inside their comfort zone.
The best leaders and coaches know that people grow when they are challenged just beyond their current abilities. Psychologists often refer to this as the Flow zone, the space between comfort and overwhelm.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's research on Flow found that people experience their highest levels of engagement and growth when challenges and skills are balanced. If the challenge is too small, people become bored. If the challenge is too great, they become anxious. Growth occurs when people are stretched and supported.
We all need people who believe in us, help us discover our strengths, and challenge us to grow…even when growth feels uncomfortable.
H.O.P.E. FOR THE FUTURE
As we enter June, we reach the exact midpoint of the year. It is a natural moment to pause, look around, and spend more time thinking about our co-workers, family, and friends. Specifically, those individuals who are quietly losing hope in their own ability to excel. Perhaps they have faced a recent setback, hit a plateau, or feel overwhelmed.
Consider using the next 30 days to practice helping others excel. Start with one person. Listen to their challenges. Remind them of their strengths. Challenge them to grow and support them along the way. Because when we help people excel, we do more than build skills. We build confidence, resilience, and hope. And that is exactly what our workplaces, families, and communities need right now.
Let's Get Better Together,
Bill Durkin, Founder
One Positive Place
